|
|
|
 |
|
Billey:
|
Why I'm so
scared of Mavis!!!
|
Pop
starlet Billey Kipper admitted recently she had IGNORED an
email from renowned fanzine writer Mavis Trickle.
Female
impersonators
North
Wiltshire’s top pop sensation stated “Being Chippenham’s top entertainment
export (after Golddiggers) currently, I feel it is my duty to be as
busy as possible. I’m afraid that although I did see Mavis’s email,
I just didn’t have time to answer it. I am a top pop professional
and just don’t have time to answer questions from fanzine writers,
particularly ones who pretend to be female. Anyway, she might have
stitched me up or something. I have also been very ill with
repeated kidney infections, and the unwanted attention of ginger TV
‘personalities’ who send me Skodas full of chrysanthemums.
It’s not like life’s easy for me, you know, what with the plane
crash (sort of), and that nasty stalker type bloke, and
all that odd powdered stuff…” It was at this point that Billey
Kipper (who, we must stress, bears ABSOLUTELY NO RESEMBLANCE TO ANY
PERSONS LIVING OR DEAD, not least Swindon’s own princess of Pop Billie
Piper. Note the spelling difference, Mr Lawyer) was whisked off swiftly
by her management team to arrange details for her forthcoming tour
of Columbia.
|
|
E-spam
hell!
When
Chuck asked Swindon’s very own Mavis Trickle what she had could
have sent to upset Billey Kipper so, “she” replied: “Well, all
I asked was whether she’d grant me an interview or not. And
ever since, I’ve been receiving non-stop Billey Kipper email
spam. For example: Hi,
Thanks for the message! Billey's not here right now--she's running
around all over the place as usual...but she loves to read her
emails and we'll forward yours to her. Have you checked out
Billey's website yet? If there's something you want to know
about Billey, chances are it'll be on the website. There's also
a free email club you can join on the website to get regular
messages and gossip from Billey and join in special competitions
and giveaways. Billey also puts her music and video on her webpages
before anyone else gets a glimpse, so keep checking the site
for all the latest news, music, competitions and exclusive pictures.
Hope you like it--and BILLEY-ONS of thanks again for the mail!
Love the d4 gang for billey xxxxx
|
|
Shame!!
“It’s a
pity really,” continued Mavis, “as my incisive interviewing
techniques have been finely honed to produce what would
have been the decisive Billey Kipper interview. But we were
going to stitch her up, she’s quite right about that one. You
know, questions about Nietzsche and psychosexual lyrics
in that Number One hit of hers. You know the one. I also plan
to restart my civil disobedience protests, and march
on the streets of Swindon just like I did to bring Bob Pollard
here, only this time the thrust will be to remind mainstream
pop stars not to ignore the local underground press.”
Five
get into a fix
At the time
of going to press, 5ive were unavailable for comment as to whether
they would speak to Mavis. Ever.
|
|
|
